This and That

Dearest Readers,

The sun is shining as I write this and the leaves on the trees have unfurled into their full size. I hope you are finding peace in the beauty of the natural world, wherever you are.

The other day, I had a brief conversation with a friend about “retreat”. I was saying how much silent and creative retreats benefit me (as often as life and finances allow), and she was saying how much she could use one.

Retreats are mostly for the privileged but they shouldn’t be. Everyone needs a break. Everyone deserves an opportunity to discover the luxury of being quiet, of listening to the inner voice, of resting and be-ing.

On my last retreat, I signed up for a 30-minute spiritual direction session, having never met the director. I was early. He was late. When he arrived, cheerful and smiling, we sat down and immediately started chit-chatting. The session never really “started” as spiritual direction sessions sometimes do, with silence or a blessing, so I thought I’d better get down to deeper matters. The clock was ticking.

I shared about the general anxiety I feel about the state of the world and he listened without judgment. He shared some of his own history working with refugees and the hard problem of suffering. I asked him how he managed to hold it all. He paused, thought about it, and said, “The best I can say is that I am at peace and I am not at peace.”

I am at peace and I am not at peace. Wow.

For a black-and-white thinker, this paradoxical statement is salve for the soul. O, how I practice the grey, middle ground, two-truths-at-once kind of attitude. Still, I mostly want things to be this or that.

I’ve written about this before. Things can be this and that. Two things can be true at once. Radical, I know!

We can be at peace and not at peace at the same time. We can be faithful and doubting, trusting and angry, relaxed and anxious, this and that. And everything in between.

Permission to be a messed-up and got-it-together human? Permission granted.

And if you can make the time and find the means, go on retreat and meet your mysterial self there.

Love and blessings,

Celia